Celestial(ish) Poems

My Moon

When I can’t breathe,

I will look at the moon.

I know she does not look at me.

She cannot see me or hear me.

Still, I cannot help but reach out to her.

Every night as I lie in a world of hatred.

Rethinking thoughts over and over.

I am a record broken by hatred.

I reach for her again.

‘Please call for me’ I say.

‘Allow me to join you in the stars.’

‘And dance where you dance’

‘Allow me to paint myself in your colors’

I receive no answer.

Same as every night.

As I turn towards my bed,

I see a star out of the corner of my eye.

Flying gracefully from the sky.

I sit at my window watching the star.

It seems to be getting closer.

Is this it? Is she finally calling for me?

I reach my hand out once again,

‘Have you come for me? Has she finally heard me?’

I squeeze my eyes shut and hold my hand as high as I can.

I wait…

…

…

I start to feel a warmth embrace my very soul.

I open my eyes slowly, and hesitantly.

It was a woman

Sleek shine and glimmering gold.

A crown adorned her head.

‘Are you an angel?’ I asked.

“No darling I am your star.

Here to bring you back to your moon.” She said.

‘My moon? She hears me?’

My eyes widened and filled with tears.

I was not alone.

I was never alone.

My moon was reaching for me always.

the star offers her hand.

I look at her as a glistening tear falls down my cheek.

I place my hand gently in hers.

And we fly.

I am weightless

I am free.

I no longer feel heavy with hatred,

Nor sorrow and pain.

I look up at my moon and once again reach my hand out to her.

I don’t expect her to reach back for me.

But she does.

Not how you think,

It’s a feeling, and energy.

She shares her soul with me.

As I share mine with her.

I will now dance among the gods

And sing to the stars.

For my moon has come for me.

And I will be in bliss, still with time

And filled with joy

For the rest of our time.

?

I cannot contain myself

Not for joy

But existence

My mind is constantly wondering

Not a moment without thought

Inconceivable thought

More of a feeling in my head

A blur of color and emotion

A secret lies inside

Sealed so far away

Yet still in sight.

I can touch it

Taste it

Hear it

I can feel its warmth in my chest

Yet it is like it is not there

I wish to this secret

More than most

Less than some

It’s an itch i cannot reach

Something I need to live but cannot have

It is toying with me

As I am lesser

I am simply a game

My head is a maze forever

Everlasting torture but I enjoy it

I was made for it

I am made for this secret

I am a canvas waiting for my painter

I have no other purpose 

I cannot contain myself

I wish to explode

In a beautiful way

My inside for all to view

Then I will be understood

That is is my purpose.

I am inconceivable.

I am my secret.

Your sun

I wish to be more 

I am a physical abomination

I want to flow

I want to be nothing

To only exist in the mind

I am a force

An energy

A play of the light

Yet I manage to effect

To exist

Like the sun

Hydrogen

Helium

Carbon

Nitrogen

Oxygen

Air

Air that can kill

Air that provides

Air that is a necessity

It is needed to survive

By the billions

The sun is acknowledged

Daily it is praised

For simply existing

It is not something you can

Touch

Taste

Hear

Or smell

An effect you cannot see

But still it is more.

I wish to be the sun.

Acknowledged for my invisible impact.